Mo Better

Tweaked the site a little bit and added some stuff. Thanks to Bruce M. of Argentina for his comments on colors. Hopefully things will be easier on the eyes. If anyone else has suggestions feel free to catch me on googletalk, MSN or by email.

New Content

added some new content to my site and new colors/layout. This is easier on my eyes to read and I like the color scheme. I am looking into how to allow users to customize the theme to their liking but till then you are stuck with what pleases my eye.

http://www.hippyrandall.com

Birthday Gurl!!

Happy Birthday to YOU!!!
Happy Birthday to YOU!!!
Happy Birthday Dear Holly!!
Happy Birthday to YOU!!!

Love ya baby.

Hippyrandall dot com

Just a friendly lil note to tell you that hippyrandall.com is now somewhat live. It is a work in progress so don't be too harsh but please leave a comment if you have a tip or suggestion.

Outside Thoughts

I sometimes think of what an outsider would think of our little world.
I can't help but think that any spacefaring species would hear us long before they could see us and might be turned away from the sheer volume of all that noise. Provided that some would venture close enough to take a look I can imagine that they would think us such an awful and backwards race. As we have "advanced" in technology we have littered our world, and even the immediate vicinty, with so much debris that it must be the way that we here would look upon a house with a front lawn littered with unworking vehicles and other detritus.
Advanced! the peoples of our world scream. We are so smart! they clamor all in a hurry to congratulate themselves on even the mos modest echievement. Take yourself outside this view and try for a moment to see it with fresh eyes and, like me, you may not be so proud.
It's sad really that for all our "advancements" we can not get much further of this little speck of rock much more than a toddler can jump off the floor. And yet we congratulate and celebrate a space program that has really given us nothing since landing on the moon. Well except Teflon and aerogel.

Hope you guess my name!

This first post is a silly little story I wrote. There's not much point to it, really. It was just something funny I had a thought about one day and it developed into what you are about to read. It was originally posted in three parts elsewhere but I am going to post the whole thing here. Hope you enjoy!!

1

So again the planet has rotated and my side of it is coming around to face the sun. Ahhhh what a wonderful feeling! The feel of the sun on me is sooo soothing and wondrous. There is almost nothing that compares to the feel of the morning sun shining on you. Except maybe for the feel of the rain falling down. Not a hard driving rain you understand, but a soft light rain that is only slightly more than a drizzle. The only rain that feels better is those first few rains that come every springtime and breathe new life into all that it touches. There was a wonderful light rain last night. It fell so sweetly. All I could do was let it wash over me. I was in complete rapture at the feel of it running down me. Then, blessed sunshine greets the new day and shines down to warm me. Sunrise as you call it is the best part of the day for me. The feel of it on you cannot be paralleled. The feel of coming back fully to life is such a great experience. When was the last time that you layed down in the comfort of the grass and watched the sun 'rising' in the eastern sky? Do you have any idea what you are missing? Such an exquisite experience should be had as often as possible, in my estimation.
My 'spot' is not exceptional, but it is mine. It's out of the way of your 'progress' but not so far out of the way as to be inaccessible. Your kind pass by me all the time and hardly notice or contemplate my existence. I guess what I am getting at is that there are worse places to be on this world. Any spot on this world is more than acceptable though. You really ought to stop and consider it sometime. You will see that I am right if you have an open mind and are able to see things for what they really are and not think about your carpools, schedules, etc for just a little while.
Oh I'm sorry I never introduced myself did I? Terribly sorry. Not used to having to do that. Um, what is my name? Good question now that you ask it. (Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name. snicker snicker) I suppose that you could call me anything you want. I have not got a name such as yours. I never even really considered it before. So, how about for the ease of things you just call me G. G's good, yes? Hope you guess my name. snicker snicker

2

I am here. I have not always been here but my kind have always been. My age is hard to even estimate, nevermind measuring it in your terms of years.
Where was I? Ah yes. Morning light has a special quality all it's own not to be found at any other time of day. I should know for I have studied the sun and know all it's variations of light and warmth. The sun is life afterall. This morning's sun was nothing sort of spectacular, but I think that about every "sunrise". I am biased and I know it. You would be too if you realized just how important the sun is to your everyday life and all the things that it's light makes possible that you take for granted. Daily.
I have been studying more than the variations of sunshine, though. You would almost have forgotten that I was here. I have watched quietly and without interfering in your ways. That is not my way, our way. We have been watching since time out of mind. Always listening and absorbing. We have even suffered the persecutions you have brought upon us without striking back at you and your kind. You have long thought that you are the rulers of this little chunk of rock circling a small star. But, we were here long before you and your kind and we have spread over so much more of this planet than most of you even realize exists. We have been carried into space by explosions and even by your NASA and have managed to survive the cold vacuum of space. Galaxies are known to us that you have just begun to glimpse with your telescopes. We will survive almost anything that you can throw at us. At any rate, I am not trying to get into a contest of who's older or wiser or whatever else such as this. I am merely trying to get across to you that I am, we are, a sentient being that share this planet with you.
How I (we) got here is immaterial. When we got her is also immaterial. The fact that we are here is all that matters. Now, why this long windedness you ask? When you get to talk and relate on such an infrequent basis you tend to get carried away and end up rambling on and on and on... See what I mean? I mean no disrespect but, have you ever heard my (our) story before? Not likely. We don't communicate much with you. We have listened though. Oh yes...We have indeed listened.

3

We have been witness to countless conversations, plottings, schemings, even the conception of a great many of your kind! Does that shock you? Always we have just watched and gathered the information into our collective knowledge. This is one of the reasons that we have survived for so long, I suppose. Our ability to take your conversations and use them to our advantage or prepare ourselves for some action that you plan on taking. We are resilient. We adapt and change to secure our survival. I must say that you are fascinating to me. Some of us enjoy hearing your speech and enjoy the times that you are near. Most of us would rather that you took off to someplace else and left us alone. It wouldn't matter where as long as it wasn't here. That view is unfortunate. But, there are those on both sides of this tale that wish that of the other side. How unfortunate that some can be so obtuse and not see an opportunity to learn and add to their knowledge. 'Oh well' I say in exasperation. We know better, don't we?
There have been a great many rumblings that you and your kind may well be the death of us yet. Me, I think, I hope, that they are wrong. They grumble that something should be done to eliminate the threat. That threat being you and your kind, of course. It is good for you that we lack the where-with-all to do anything that would bring about your demise. If my kind had the means, I am certain that you would be driven off this planet if not out of existence entirely. It does not give me any sense of pride knowing this, though. I do not wish for any harm to befall you. I do wish that you would take some time to look around and see things around you with more than just the eyes, though. There is a multitude of things that are around you everyday that you hardly notice. Like me and my kind for instance. The only time we are noticed is when you feel it necessary to get us back 'under control' or mold and shape us to your liking. We are not the only sentient beings that you overlook. There is entire civilizations on this planet that you have barely begun to see and understand. The primates, as you call them, are far from the only beings here that have a societal structure that you would recognize as being not unlike your own. Take the time, I beg of you. Look around and see what it is that you have been missing all these millenia. See what has been right in front of you, above you, below you, even in you. This planet is teeming with more forms of life than you know. It's all there for anyone to see as long as time is taken to look for it and recognize it for what it is.
I wish that there was some way for me to get your attention. We have been trying for a very long time to get you to see us for what we are. We have adapted to suit your needs and wants. We have changed some of our internal structuring to be more pleasing to you and your kind. You have taken from us and enjoyed the comfort that we provide you. Yet, you still fail to notice us. Perhaps now the time is right. That is why I am communicating these words to you now. I believe that if ever there was a time to shove you in the right direction, that time is now. You have advanced further than most of us thought you would ever achieve. Take the final leap before you head for the stars and learn to see. You will need that ability when you reach the stars. There is far more out there that you have yet to even consider than there is here on this one little planet. If you don't stop overlooking the obvious, you are bound to fail 'out there'. Intelligence is not measured by what looks like you, walks like you, talks like you. The people that you called 'Indians' were the last to understand that everything is life and equal. You did not understand that then, but you have the capacity to understand it now. Look. Observe. Learn.

Respectfully and on behalf of all the overlooked civilizations,
The Grasses
(your front lawn)

Paingst(pain+angst)

I thought I would never do this here, but, here goes:
When the pain is a constant, all-consuming thing what can be done? Wish for the end of it ALL is what I find myself doing more and more. The end, for me, would mean the sweet, silent embrace of nothingness. I hope there is an end and not a new beginning. The thought of living through pain all over again is beyond horrible. Nightmares are far more comforting than the thought of reliving a life that includes such immeasurable pain. All the pain killers given by the pill pushing doctors do nothing to stop all this pain. Two doctors and two specialists cannot find out, or decide, what is wrong with me. Gout, arthritis, some sort of bone trauma, and even having a doctor tell me that it might have something to do with the fact that I stopped doing flooring and being as active, they have tried to tell me, might be causes. BAH! Idiots one and all. I do understand to some extent how my problems have exasperated them. I have had much more time to study my case and research possible reasons and keep coming up empty. But damnit! They went to college for this sort of shit. I only have the internet.

Walking is a pain all to itself and stairs are the the literal translation of the nine stages of hell, except for the fact that our house house has twelve steps and a landing. I guess it is more like thirteen stages of hell in my case. I put on a brave face for those around me but the suffering that I experience just by merely being alive is beyond anything that I could describe. The fact that no doctor has been able to properly diagnose the problem only leaves me feeling that I shouldn’t complain so much in fears that I will not be believed that there is something truly wrong. Even though I know that those closest to me know better, I mostly just "buck up" and carry on as best I can without alerting them to how bad things are getting, or have gotten.
Do I drink more, and more often, to get some small reprieve from the pain? Odd thing about that: drinking to excess does indeed relieve the pain but it leaves me tossing and turning in a sleepless state of anger. Sleeping pills have about the same effect.
Marijuana? Still struggling with this thought. I am not a good "stoner". I get stupid and become virtually non-functioning for the duration of the high and, unfortunately, the entire next day. I can imagine (from prior experiences of getting high) that, indeed I would gain some measure of relief from the pain by taking this route. However, I am not sure that I want to live that way. I have enjoyed, more often than not, getting high in the past but the thought of the "day after" experiences are not something that I look forward to in any way. I have gotten high in the past only to be high at that time, not for long into the next.
I am at a loss. So tired. Emotionally, mentally and physically I am so tired.
I had the thought last week that I could do enough aspects of my former job as a flooring installer to be useful. Boy did that change fast once I went to the store. I walked around for an hour or slightly less and was in so much pain that night and the next day that any hope of returning to that line of work were completely dashed.
Even though this current situation is not my fault or doing, I have begun to feel like an utter failure. "Oh, why don’t you do this for a job?" type suggestions may sound like good ideas but, mostly all I can see are problems with any type of work in a structured setting. For the most part I cannot do any one thing for very long. I cannot stand for extended periods. Nor can I sit. At the very least not for very long. No position: sitting, standing, or laying down; is any better than another.
I am lost.
And, I guess, this pointless rant is done.

Moving Things

I sat and watched a lone ant going about his antly business. And the more I watched this single ant, I realized he was just one among a whole group of ants going about their antly business. I lost track of my single ant among all the other ants and increased my field of view. I sat and watched all the moving things on the ground and realized my ants going about their antly business were just one more moving thing among the other moving things on the ground. The shade of the leaves from the tree above cast it's shadows in moving patterns in the wind. The moving shadows sliding over the moving things on a moving ground began to make my head swim so I looked up at the leaves swaying in the breeze with their shadows sliding over my face and eyes. Beyond the swaying of the leaves I caught glimpses of the moving clouds. They slid silently between the shifting leaves of the swaying tree and my head began to swim with all the moving and sliding and shifting of the things. I cast my gaze out across the gently rolling grass and my eyes landed on the water. I sat and watched as the waves rose and fell and cast themselves on the sand of the beach. The moving leaves shadowing the moving ground below the moving sky reflected in the moving water made my head swim and I closed my eyes to all of it.

There, behind the lids of my eyes, I found moving lights of various colors. Moving things everywhere! Will my head ever stop swimming? I cried out 'Stop! Please' and I opened my eyes again to find all the moving things still in their places still doing all their moving things...and I sighed and went back inside where there are far fewer moving things and I collapsed into a chair determined to not be one.